A New Chapter Perhaps

First of September, it was the I never forget, that was the first day I leave my home half and thousand kilometre away... That was the first time I ever saw my sister, my father and my friend cry for me. That was the day I realize that our friendship was beyond what our thought to be. A pen from them was more then enough to see how deep they knew about me... A message from her, enough to make me drop into another misunderstanding again...
As the time progress, things seem to be a beautiful as a fancy story book, I got a very nice house mate, a bunch of new buddies, and once again I been chosen as leader, but things that happens has bring me from bad to worst. I'm not longer as good as before, I was feeling tried, giving up , even a sense to leave the group. I can feel that I'm no longer being a leader, I'm more toward falling into another deep hole that need my own blood and sweat in order to leave the same nightmare. I had.a Deja vu is strong again as I meet a similar personal that looks like it bring back for my nightmare, history... Once again I questioning myself the same question...
Although I meet up a group but actually I'm not, loner was back as the only best friend I had, everything that come personal I had fix up myself, am I being too narrow minded? Well, that's the reality, we have take care of ourself when we are staying outside, dealing with the real world rather than sit under the roof I familiar... Things that familiar become stranger as I get into it deeper and deeper...  What was the point to being... down....Was it the same mistake?
I found myself hard to communicate with my team, every time those word was swollen down by time where I want to split it out...
It really making me scared...Stress... it doesn't help much, calling Racheal, it help, calling Liwen... it was a relief... It just she been too emotional when I was telling her problem, it seem like she had a same obstacle with  me too...
I was lucky to have members that care about me as a team, not like the old days where I was loner who take all the rocks and bags on my bare shoulder, perhaps it just the matter of time to communicate with them. It just the first presentation, it still miles away to go... A member told me something important, which we do it as a team, it was not the member or the leader, it was about the group and the commitment around us, she said she experience tons of things which she said much worst than this, and I believe, because I had the same before, although it might be a piece of cake compare to her's , but I knew how it felt.
This just a beginning, as their leader, I can't beat up like that... I must stay strong and held up together as we fight out way to the future... I wish...